


A Watson-Holmes Christmas

by Audrey, Pantherlily



Series: Johnlock Series [8]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:07:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Audrey/pseuds/Audrey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantherlily/pseuds/Pantherlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas special fic. Sometimes Christmas just doesn't turn out the way you think it will. Part Eight in Johnlock series. Helpful but not necessary to read the seven previous stories. Has Parentlock and Mystrade in it as well, just like the other fics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The shopping had been rather easy - John had never been more thankful for having two young children with predicable tastes - and by the time they had both managed to sneak into the living room and put all of the presents under the tree, he was more than ready to sleep. He and Sherlock had snuggled back into bed by one in the morning and he was thankful to have somebody to snuggle against with the snow on the ground outside. Granted, they couldn't sleep long because the moment the kids woke up they were bombarded.

Amy threw their bedroom door open, running happily and climbing up on to the bed eagerly. "Up! Papa, Dada's Christmas ands we has to open presents!" She moved to situation herself on John's chest, her foot wedged between John's side and Sherlock's chest. "Wakes up! Presents!" She jumped a bit, making her Dada groan as she held his head still, grinning as his eyes opened.

Sherlock had been waiting a few months now to give John the present he had come up with. He didn't remember falling asleep but now he was being woken up by their daughter. She was eager of course. He smiled at little Sandi, waking up easier than John did. Sleep wasn't nearly important to him as it was his husband. "Hey Baby Girl. Is Thomas ready too? We can't open presents without him."

Thomas had heard Amy run down the stairs. She was probably jumping up and down on Daddy and Dad right now. He grinned a little at the thought and made his way downstairs. He still enjoyed Christmas but he was a little too old to be jumping on his parents. He had just turned nine after all.

John groaned and twisted slightly on the bed, blinking as he tried to wake up. Sherlock was already talking, the man was perfect after all, and he was struggling to even get his thoughts going. "Right. Yeah, presents," he said as he finally turned his head and pressed it against the top of Sherlock's with a sigh. It was six in the morning, a fact not lost on him, and he wanted to sleep. The best part of the day would be when the kids went upstairs to eagerly play with their new gifts and he would get to exchange presents with his husband.

Amy looked over at Sherlock and nodded her head. "Yes, Papa. He's is in the livings room a'cause he's is too old to jumps on you. He saided that." She nodded and slid off of John, then off the bed with a grin as she made her way to the living room. "'Mas!" She squealed and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his lower legs and giving him a hug. "'Mas, I gots you a present. Is you excited to opens it?"

Sherlock smirked a bit as he turned his attention to John. "You can take a nap later." The smirk got bigger. "You always do." He gave his husband a quick kiss on the lips. "Come on, we should probably get up before Amy sends Thomas in to pounce on us next."

Thomas smiled at Amy. "Of course I am Sis! I bet it will be the best present out of all of the ones I get." He glanced into their parent's room. "Dad! Daddy! Come on already!"

That made John chuckle a bit as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes. They had planned the night before, already in their pajamas, so all he had to do was drag his feet into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. "Oi, you two, put all the presents in piles for everybody." A joke, really, because John and Sherlock each had two for the morning, one from each of the kids, and their children had enough to fill the bloody flat twice over. He turned his attention back to their coffee pot with a small yawn.

"Okay Dada!" Amy pulled away from Thomas and started taking all of her brother's presents and inspecting them. "'Mas, Santa gived you a lot of presents this this year," she declared as she started putting everything in his pile. "Me toos," she whispered in awe as she looked at all of the brightly wrapped gifts with her name on them.

Sherlock followed John out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. He preferred tea over coffee, so he started the kettle. Better make enough for little Sandi, she had become quite the tea fanatic since October. He got out two cups, one smaller than his. They had gotten the children quite a few gifts this year. More than last year, that was for sure.

Thomas didn't believe in Santa anymore but no need to ruin it for Amy. "It is because we were both so good this year. We get lots toys for it." He nodded at that and began helping his sister make piles for everyone.

John turned to lean against the counter, smiling at his husband as he listened to the kids in the living room. "I am nervous to give you my gift this year," he said softly, head tilted slightly to the side. "Just one thing but when I saw it...I thought of you right away." It was utterly simple, plain, and something he had told himself he would never give as a present but he couldn't help it.

Amy nodded in agreement. They had been good all year, taking their naps and all that. Thomas had always done his homework and she had always picked up her side of the room when requested. "I hopes I gotted a fairy this year a'cause my fairy ball still doesn't haves one," she explained softly.

Sherlock arched his brows. "It isn't a fruitcake or one of those ridiculous Christmas sweaters, is it?" He gave John a smirk and turned his attention back to the kettle when it started whistling. He prepared two cups and began drinking his tea almost immediately afterward, despite how hot it was.

Thomas had made Amy's present at school in art class. She would probably like it and he thought it had turned out rather well. "I got something for you too Sis. I made it myself." He smiled, rather proud of himself.

"Oh, God no." John laughed and poured himself a cup of coffee, taking a drink himself as he studied his husband. "It is something you'll definitely like, though. I have been married to you for a bit so I think I know what to buy you." A pause as he lowered his cup. "You don't think _my_ Christmas sweaters are ridiculous, do you?"

Amy turned to her brother with wide eyes. "I mades your present myselfs, too! Papa helped me-" She cut herself off instantly, eyes narrowed as she giggled. "Nice try, 'Mas, I isn't gonna tell you what your present is." Her feet shifted slightly on the floor and she looked toward the kitchen impatiently.

" _All_ Christmas sweaters are ridiculous. Especially if they come from my mother." Sherlock frowned at that. His mother was getting worse but still hanging on. No time to think about that when everyone was happy right now. He glanced out to the living room. "I think Baby Girl is getting impatient." He managed a bit of smirk and he took another sip of his tea.

Thomas grinned at Amy and looked into the kitchen as well. "Dad! Daddy!" He was getting eager to open presents. There were so many and he wanted to rip them all open right away.

John tensed before nodding, clearing his throat and picking up Amy's small mug in his free hand. "All right, all right," he said as he walked into the living room with a grin. "Calm down, you too. Santa's presents will still be here if Sherlock and I have a nice conversation in the kitchen." He handed the small mug of tea over to their daughter and then looked at Thomas. "Would you like anything to drink? I can go make you some hot apple cider if you fancy that this morning."

Amy took her tea with a giggle, sipping at it as she looked up at her Papa. "'S breakfast tea. In the blue tin," she declared as she took another sip and made herself comfortable on the floor next to all of her presents. "'S my favoritest kind too, Papa! This is the best Christsmas ever."

Sherlock followed John once more and took a seat in his chair. Hamish jumped up on his lap, did a few circles and then laid down. He continued to sip the tea and began petting the cat with his free hand. He had never been excited for Christmas like most children were. It had just been another day for him growing up.

Thomas shook his head. He wanted to open the presents _now_. Getting something to drink would take longer. He sat down on the floor next to his pile of presents. He looked up at his parents expectantly.

John sat down in his own seat, cradling his cup of coffee with a smile. "Alright. Miss Amy, that purple present is from Papa and I so you can open that. Thomas, the same with the silver one." They had gotten each of them a single matching present, a simple scarf made of their favorite colors. Amy's had been simple, pink and purple. Thomas' had been a bit more difficult but he settled on a dark blue and black, the color of Sherlock's scarf and coat.

Amy glanced at her brother before opening her present, grinning happily at it and instantly wrapping it around her neck. "Dada, Papa! I loves it!" She buried her face in the soft fabric, inhaling and glancing at her brother. "Does you loves it 'Mas?"

Sherlock sat quietly, drinking his tea and petting Hamish. He watched the children as they began opening their presents. Scarves didn't seem like something children would like but little Sandi seemed to love hers.

Thomas opened the wrapped gift excitedly, ripping through the paper quickly. A scarf like Daddy's! Cool! He grinned at Amy and nodded. It was nice and soft. At least he wasn't at school. No one here to call him a sissy for liking a scarf.

The rest of the presents for the kids were simple. Amy had gotten a stuffed fairy, a bunch of things with dogs, and a new fairy movie. Thomas had gotten more Lego's to add on to the set they had bought him, some action figures, and a purple button-up shirt that looked too much like Sherlock's to even consider not buying. "Santa was very nice this year since we have two very well-behaved kids," John said as he reached his bare foot out and rested it on top of his husband's.

Amy looked at Thomas before shifting on her feet, handing over a square present to him. It was a hand-drawn picture of the two of them that Sherlock had helped her put in a frame. "Here, 'Mas," she said with a small blush. "I mades this for you."

Sherlock continued to watch in silence. He set his cup on the table next to him once it was empty. Hamish was purring loudly in his lap, as he resumed petting the feline. Good. The children liked their gifts. He looked over to John and smiled.

Thomas tore through his presents so quickly he barely really registered what anything was. He grinned as he took Amy's gift and opened that one with care he hadn't shown the others. "Sissy Poo, I love it!" He held out a present for her, shaped like a box and jingled if shaken. Inside was a handmade wind chime. In the center of the chimes was a fairy, with smaller chimes hanging from the wings. The fairy was a hard cardboard but painted pink. He had been made fun of for almost a month straight at school for making it but he didn't care.

John watched the two of them exchange gifts, moving without shame toward his husband's chair. He sat on the side with ease, wrapping his arms around his husband's shoulders and pulling him a bit closer. "Good job," he whispered as he placed a soft kiss in his husband's hair. "You did a wonderful job helping me shop for everything."

Amy stared at the present for a moment before slowly opening it. The moment she saw it she stood, breathless, staring at her older brother. "'Mas," she whispered as she held it up. Her eyes were bright as she studied the wind chime. "You's is the bestest older brother ever." She gently set the gift down and moved to embrace her brother, burying her face in his lower stomach.

Sherlock smirked and shrugged. "I did a wonderful job because I am perfect and amazing." The smirk got bigger as he returned the hug.

Thomas beamed proudly and returned the hug. He knew Amy would love it and seeing her reaction was worth the month of torment he had endured at school.

"Oh, here we go," John whispered with a soft smile as he pressed his nose against the top of his husband's head. "Yes, of course you are, dear. And it was all of that, that magically rubbed off when we went shopping. I am so proud of you." He giggled and closed his eyes as he relaxed against Sherlock.

"And's nows we can plays with our new toys all day," Amy said softly as she shifted on her feet to look at their pile of new things. "A'cause I has some puppy toys and fairy toys and we cans puts together your Lego's and then plays together all day. Cans we plays together all day?"

Sherlock laughed and shrugged. "I can't help it. I was born that way." The smirk returned as he continued to hold onto John, looking over his husband's shoulder as he watched the children.

Thomas nodded. "Sure Sis! Do you want me to hang the wind chime up or just hang it from the end of the bed?" He started gathering up their stuff, stacking boxes in his arms and a bit over his head. He had to lean to one side to see around the bundle in his arms.

John chuckled and watched their children as well. They had gotten lucky that the two of them hardly fought and that Thomas was an utterly perfect older brother. "It looks like we will get a chance to do our gift exchange rather soon," he whispered as his hand gently massaged Sherlock's shoulder.

Amy smiled and took the remaining boxes so Thomas wouldn't have to do all of the work. "Can we's hang it aboves my bed? 'S not windy or anythings but I wants to look at it every day and shows it off to everybody." She grinned happily as she picked up the wind chime and admired it again before slowly starting to head upstairs.

Sherlock nodded a bit. He was a little nervous about the gift. He had planned it ever since something John had said during the honeymoon. Would his husband even like it? Or just think it was a stupid gift?

Thomas walked up the stairs slowly and carefully to their room. He set the boxes down on his bed and turned to face Amy. "Do you want me to hang it up now Sis?"

It was now or never, John figured. "I am bloody nervous," he said with a laugh. They were both nervous though, weren't they? That was a first between them on Christmas. Hell, their first Christmas together they had both been just finishing up with Moriarty and had simply shagged each other until they couldn't move. "How 'bout I get yours and you get mine and we meet back out here?" He placed a kiss on his husband's temple and moved toward the bedroom with ease. The box had been simply wrapped, dark blue paper, and he carried it back to the living room.

Amy nodded eagerly, gently setting the small bit of boxes she'd carried down and holding the wind chime up with a smile. "'Cepts it won't be windy up heres, is that's okay?" She asked curiously as she looked up at Thomas.

Sherlock nodded, got up and went to the fireplace. John never really used it. He reached behind the skull and pulled out a square package. It was light and easy to carry. He was rubbish at wrapping gifts, so Mrs. Hudson had done it for him. It was normal Christmas colors, green with a bright red bow it. Hamish had taken over his chair so he sat down on the couch.

Thomas nodded with a smile. "Of course it is! When it gets warm again we can open a window so a breeze comes through, okay?" He smiled again, stood on Amy's bed and hung the wind chime on a hook in the ceiling.

John smirked at his husband sitting on the couch, moving to sit beside him with the bigger box on his lap. Actually sitting next to Sherlock with his gift was making him beyond nervous and he was fairly sure he was shaking just a bit. At least he could pass that off on the coffee for the morning. "Right," he said with a sigh, forcing his body to relax. "How about you open yours first?" He licked his lips with a smile and gently moved the box over to rest on his husband's lap. It was an antique violin, one that Sherlock could play, and he'd had each of the kids write their full names on a piece of paper and had them engraved in the wood. His own was there, too. The moment he had seen it, though, he knew he had to buy it for his husband.

Amy watched her older brother with a bit of a smile before she looked at her present to her brother. "Does yous wants to hang up your drawing?" She asked softly as she picked up the framed piece of paper and smiled a bit at it. "I feels bad a'cause your present to me is better than mine."

Sherlock took the gift and analyzed it for a moment before opening it with care. He raised his eyebrows in surprise but smiled. This must have been expensive. Jesus. His gift felt inadequate now. He wanted to tell his husband it was too much but didn't. "John, it is wonderful. Thank you." He hesitantly handed over the gift for his husband. It was a CD he had made. Not one of those stupid mixed tapes. Well, it did have their wedding song as the beginning track but the rest was just him talking really. On their honeymoon John had mentioned that a recording of what he had just said had been made so everyone could hear it. Although, it wasn't something he really expected his husband to share. He had gone through every conversation mentally with John, where they had just snuggled and talked. He recorded all the moments he had been able to come up with that surprised John. At the end was him simply reminding his husband that he loves him. God. This was stupid. John was going to hate it, he just knew it.

Thomas shook his head a little. "I am going to put it on the night stand so I can look at it anytime I want. Your gift is better Sis. You drew it and framed it. It's perfect!"

John watched his husband with a soft smile, leaning to the side and placed a soft kiss on Sherlock's cheek. "Anything for you," he stated as he turned and slowly opened his own present. A CD. For a moment he just stared at it before everything dawned on him. Their honeymoon he had said that he simply wanted a recording of Sherlock talking to him, of all the little moments they shared. Now it was in his hands. "Oh my God," he whispered, breathless as a smile spread across his face. Now his present felt horridly tacky. This was homemade, personal...and he had spent money. "Sherlock, my God..." He looked at his husband and laughed. "You are perfect. This is...I love you," he said as he turned and wrapped his arms tightly around the man's shoulders.

"Our presents is equal then," Amy determined with a nod. "A'cause we both mades them for each other and didnt's spend no moneys." She moved forward and hugged him again, clearly not able to get enough of her older brother.

Sherlock gave a rare modest shrug. "It was nothing really. I am glad you like it." He had been worried his had been too stupid and sentimental after opening his husband's wonderful present.

Thomas smiled and returned Amy's hug. "What do you want to do first Sis? Lego's or play with toys?"

"It isn't nothing," John said happily as he grinned at the CD again, much like a child on Christmas. "It is beautiful. You put so much thought into and had to think back a-and..." He turned Sherlock's head and gently met his husband's lips, letting his tongue move into the man's mouth effortlessly.

That was a huge option as Amy turned to look at everything in front of them, bottom lip tugged between her teeth as she tried to think about everything. "I, uh, I doesn't knows," she whispered in shock as she scratched the back of her neck and sighed. "Um...you doesn't wants to play with girly toys and I doesn't want to ruin your Lego's."

Sherlock was about to reply when John kissed him. He smiled, wrapped his arms around his husband and returned the kiss. Well, John certainly liked the present then. Good. Very good indeed.

Thomas smiled as he thought for a moment. "Want me to teach you how to put Lego's together? It is easy really. You just match the pieces in the picture and put them together." He sat down on the floor, opened a box and showed her.


	2. Chapter 2

John smiled against his husband's lips, nipping at the bottom one as he moved his free hand to clutch at Sherlock's shirt. Knowing their luck the kids would probably walk in on them but he couldn't help himself. It was Christmas, after all, and he was lucky enough to be married to Sherlock Holmes. That was Christmas present enough. "I am going to put this on my bloody iPod thing and then wank off to it while you're gone on cases," he whispered as he pressed their foreheads together.

Amy stood beside her brother nervously, afraid to mess anything up. "Is yous sure?" She asked as she slowly sat down beside Thomas and looked up at him. "A'cause I doesn't want to break any of it since it's your stuffs."

Jesus. John was seriously turning him on right now. With everything his husband was saying and doing it was hard to ignore the erection pressed tightly against his pajama bottoms. Damn it. The children were upstairs though. "Wank me off in the shower?" His voice was practically pleading. The water would drown out most noise probably and they could lock the door.

Thomas nodded. "Of course. Just be careful. See." He picked up two pieces that the book indicated and put them together. "Now you try." He pointed to the next picture for Amy.

Leave it to Sherlock to be wonderfully smart even while he was turned on. "Wank you off?" John whispered with a smirk as he gently placed the CD on the coffee table in front of them. "I am going to suck you off, get on my knees in the water and take all of you into my mouth." He stood up and winked at his husband, offering his hand to the man with a devilish grin.

Amy cleared her throat and looked at the two pieces her brother put together, licking her lips before glancing up at her brother. "All right," she whispered as she took the two pieces put together by Thomas and picked up a third. The instructions were pretty simple and she put them together, smiling as she held it up. "'Mas! Lookit!"

Sherlock couldn't help but moan and nodded eagerly. "Oh God yes." He practically tripped over himself as he got up off the couch in his excited state. He took John's hand and led them to the bathroom, shut the door behind them and then locked it. He started the water and began undressing rather quickly.

Thomas beamed proudly. "Good job Sis! I knew you could do it! I told you could!" He smiled again before looking down at the instruction booklet again and found the pieces needed to add to what was already built. "Your turn!" He grinned yet again as he looked back to Amy.

John easily took his clothes off, stumbling slightly on the floor to meet his husband's lips, sloppy and heated with a low moan. Even in the bathroom, door locked and water running, they couldn't risk being too loud. He turned and took a step backward into the shower, keeping his lips against Sherlock's. Their Christmas always had a shag in it, one way or another. It was a rather good second present for the both of them.

Amy giggled and leaned her head gently on Thomas' shoulder, studying the piece they were building curiously, adding the next piece with a smile. "We's is building something togethers," she said in amazement, grinning up at him eagerly. "Lookits! Everybody is gonna be jealous of us."

Sherlock returned the kiss just as sloppily, moaning into John's mouth. He continued the kiss, breathing through his nose as he followed his husband into the shower. Once under the water, he got a little more aggressive and pressed his husband up against the back wall. He couldn't help himself right now. They hadn't had time to shag for almost a month now.

Thomas grinned again. "It is because we are amazing and perfect like Papa." He laughed at that, because Daddy was always saying that to Dad. He studied the next picture and added onto their construction that was slowly taking shape.

The cool tile on his back made John gasp, his mouth opening widely against his husband's as he continued the kiss. He knew they had lube in the shower - labeled as something like face wash so the kids wouldn't touch it - and it seemed like this was going to turn into more than just a blow job. Not that he minded in the slightest, he hadn't had a good shag in nearly a month.

Amy yawned and giggled as they continued to pass the Lego structure between the two of them, watching in wonder and curiosity as it started to take shape. "Is it gonna be ones of thems ninja thingys?" She asked curiously as she held on to the piece a little longer to inspect it before passing it off.

Sherlock broke the kiss to finally breathe properly but soon began sucking and biting on John's neck, his aggression getting stronger in his frantic need. "Want you," he whimpered hoarsely against his husband's skin. He pressed his body and erection into John tightly, a small growl coming from his throat in excitement.

Thomas nodded and picked up the box. "When we are done putting it together, it will look like this!" He showed Amy the box before adding on the next piece. He could hear the shower downstairs running, that meant... He stood up and closed their door. He was pretty sure his parents thought he was clueless about their Christmas ritual but he knew. He always did... He sat back down and watched as his sister added on the next Lego.

It was clear the month had driven Sherlock to the point of wanting a good shag and John was more than happy to give it to him. "Take me," he replied as he moaned, lifting his hips a bit so their erections would rub together. Without a second thought he wrapped his legs around his husband's hips, his head falling back to give the man more access to his neck. "N-Need you," he whimpered in his own reply.

Amy watched Thomas stand up before looking back at the picture. "We shoulds buys a pirate one for Papa and thens they can fight," she paused and pushed the piece over to her brother, grinning. "Your ninja would win, though, 'Mas, a'cause you is way cooler than Papa. So is ninjas, they is cooler than pirates."

Sherlock growled again, a little louder this time as their erections rubbed together. Shit, at this rate he was going to get off just by the friction of their bodies alone. He hadn't done anything to relieve his sexual frustration. He was never one to wank himself off.

Thomas blushed but then couldn't help but laugh. "Not cooler than Daddy, but ninjas are cooler than pirates for sure." He nodded as he added another piece. He wasn't sure Daddy would like Lego's though.

John hissed and lifted a hand to tangle in his husband's hair, his hips rocking forward again. "Lube i-is next to the soap," he mumbled. He was desperate to feel his husband because their sex life had been nothing but quick hand jobs and the occasional blow job for the past month. Sherlock had got a rather interesting case. By the time they were going to bed they were absolutely exhausted. Here they were now, though. "Please, want to feel you," he whimpered.

Amy giggled at the blush and continued to help build the Lego figure, focusing on it with her bottom lip tugged between her teeth. "Well I thinks you is cooler than Papa a'cause yous plays games with me and builds Lego's with me. Papa and Dada is good daddies and I loves them lots but yous is my brother and yous protects me."

Sherlock had been so distracted by the need for the intimate contact, he almost had forgotten about shagging and the need for lubricant. He blindly and hastily grabbed the bottle and began to sloppily apply it to his cock once he managed to get the lid off. He prepped John next, fingers thrusting in and out a bit roughly.

Thomas blushed again and then shrugged. "It's my job to protect you Sis." Just like it had been his job to protect his Mum, which he had failed at. He was determined never to fail Amy.

"Oh, God," John let his head fall back, resting against the tile as he whimpered and slowly moved his hips to help prep himself. Sherlock was definitely eager. They both were, that was obvious. "Yes, please. Sherlock, I'm ready. Want you." He tilted his head to the side and lowered it a bit, sucking at his husband's neck.

Amy smiled warmly up at her brother, eyes bright as she gently set the Lego figured down and shifted to place a kiss on Thomas' cheek. "I loves you, 'Mas. Don't yous ever forgets that."

Sherlock smirked in satisfaction, obviously pleased with John's response. He pressed up and into his husband with a moan, that he tried to muffle by leaning down and biting into John's shoulder. Rough sex was something he wanted badly right now and he began a fast and hard pace inside his husband. His feet slipped a bit but with John mostly up against the wall, he was able to maintain his balance.

Thomas grinned. "I love you too Sis." He wrapped his arms around Amy and gave her a hug. He was quiet a long time, thoughtful. "If I got my own room, would you be okay with that?"

After this John knew he was going to have to talk to his husband and see what was going on. It might have just been the fact that they hadn't had sex in a while but something else might be wrong. Regardless, he threw his head back with gasp and he tightened the grip of his legs around Sherlock's hips. "Yes. Fuck, Sherlock." He moved his free hand between them to stroke himself in time with his husband's thrusts.

"Wha'?" Amy looked up at her brother, eyes wide at the question. Thomas get his own room? That would mean he would be gone and they couldn't play all the time. "If yous really wants it I can be okay with it," she whispered as she continued to cuddle into her brother's side. "Does you want a new room?"

Sherlock continued the rough shagging, panting a bit as he bit into John's other shoulder. He didn't last long though, and he moaned into his husband's shoulder. He practically collapsed against John, hands resting against the slick wall for some semblance of support and balance.

Right. Now probably hadn't been the best time to bring it up. He was such an idiot sometimes. Thomas nodded slowly. "It would be in the basement. I think...it would be cool. We would still play together and hang out Sis." He wrapped an arm around Amy in a small, comforting hug. Well, he had ruined Christmas now hadn't he?

John didn't bother to finish himself off, shifting so his husband pulled out of him and letting his feet hit the ground. "Shh, 's fine," he whispered as he ran a hand through Sherlock's hair to try and get him relax. That was definitely the fastest Christmas shag they had ever shared, he would agree to that. "I got you," he added as he reached behind himself to turn the hot water off.

Amy nodded and swallowed hard, clearly trying to control herself so she wouldn't say or do anything stupid. "'S okay, 'Mas a'cause if we can stills play together then that's okay," she said with a small nod. It was just that he would be so far away and after spending almost all of her life sleeping in the same room as the comforting presence of her brother, she was more scared than anything to have him move out.

"Sorry," Sherlock muttered even though John had already said everything was fine. He pressed his forehead into his husband's shoulder, eyes closing as he took time to catch his breath. Ever since the day before Halloween he had been wanting a fast and hard shagging and this was the first time they'd had the chance to do so. He had been so eager for that, and shagging period he had lost most of his self control.

"Everything will work out. I won't move down stairs right away or anything. Maybe I can just sleep down there on the weekends at first. So it'll be easier...for both of us...to get used to it and everything." Thomas continued to hold onto Amy, wishing he had just kept his stupid mouth shut and put more Lego's together instead.

"You are all right," John repeated as he just held his husband, turning to place a soft kiss against Sherlock's temple. The kids hadn't tried to interrupt them so they still had a bit of time to themselves. "Do you want to talk about anything?" For the most part they had moved past fast and hard in their sex life, settling for slow and soft, talking and making everything intimate. It was a signal to John that something might be wrong when his husband went for him like that.

"I knows you is gonna be in the same flat and all," Amy said as she climbed into Thomas' lap and moved to relax against him. "I just likes having you upstairs a'cause I feel safe. 'S a big room to haves all to myself." Clearly the main reason for her worry, the fact that she had be alone. "I'm nots upset," she whispered as she let her head fall back to study her brother's face the best she could. "I could never be upset withs you."

Sherlock raised his eyebrows as he lifted his head to look at John. "Yeah. I just...missed shagging...and being rough..." Even though they didn't have as much rough sex like before, didn't mean he stopped liking or enjoying it. Ever since that night he found out John cheated with Sarah he had found out just how much he liked it rough. Fuck. Why did he have to think of that? He dropped his head back on his husband's shoulder, eyes closing once more.

Thomas managed a small smile. "I know Sis. I could never be mad at you either." He kissed the top of Amy's head. Should he try to distract them both with Lego's? Comfort his sister? "You don't have to worry about being alone because the fairies will be here with you and protect you when I can't. Even though you can't see them, they help you take care of your plants. It's why they grow so big and pretty." Is this why adults lied to kids? To make them feel better about things? Would he get in trouble by his parents for it, if they found out? Lying made him feel awful inside. He wasn't supposed to. It was bad. Wrong. That was what Dad said anyway and teachers at school.

John didn't ask anymore questions, just simply held on to his husband with a soft smile. That hadn't been enjoyable for him in the slightest but he wasn't going to tell Sherlock that. Sometimes he knew he needed to do things for his husband and while Sherlock hadn't admitted that something was wrong, he had said he had missed being rough. After a month of not doing much it wasn't surprising it was a rather fast shag. "That's fine, then," he whispered as his hand moved up and down his husband's back.

Amy nodded, clearly believing everything her brother was saying. "I thinks that there is a fairy that looks just likes you, 'Mas and it's the bestest and most handsomest fairy to ever exist," she explained with a nod. All of it was helping her calm down a bit and accept the fact that her brother wouldn't be living in the same room as her anymore. "Can we has sleepovers? A'cause I am gonna miss you lots and I doesn't want to just haves you move away and never sleeps in the same room as me."

"Couldn't have done anything for you," Sherlock muttered. Shit. He hadn't even finished off his husband. Selfish as usual. He sighed at himself, pulled away from John and got out of the shower. Well, he had managed to ruin Christmas. He sighed at himself again, got dressed hastily and retreated to their bedroom. Couldn't he just stay out of his head for a little while?

"Of course we can Sis." Thomas smiled at Amy. At least she had calmed down. Maybe he hadn't ruined the day for his sister after all.

John sighed and ran a hand down his face, watching Sherlock before groaning. Fantastic. He had pissed his husband off. He got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his hips. He needed to fix this because it was Christmas, they weren't supposed to be like this. "Right, c'mere Sherlock." He walked into the bedroom and shut the door so the children wouldn't come in. "We need to talk. You can't just stay in your head like this." He sat down on the bed and studied Sherlock.

"Good," Amy said with a nod before shifted slightly in Thomas' lap and looking up at him again. "But I didn't do nothings wrong to make you wants to move out, right? 'S it just a'cause you's is getting older?"

Sherlock wasn't surprised at all when John followed him into the bedroom. He leaned his head on his husband's shoulder as soon as it was near him. "I'm just being stupid and selfish, like usual." He sighed at himself yet again, eyes closing as he tried to ignore his thoughts unsuccessfully.

Thomas frowned a bit. "You didn't do anything wrong Sis, I promise. It is because I am getting older." Should he tell Amy it had been their parent's idea or just keep that to himself?

"You are never selfish," John whispered as he wrapped an arm around his husband's slim waist. "Ever. Stupid, a bit, but only when it comes to the universe or our Prime Minister. Sherlock Holmes, your problem is that massive brain of yours." He turned and pressed his nose against the man's temple, closing his eyes. "Sometimes you just get lost up there but that's why I'm here, why I married you. I am here to help pull you back out."

Amy nodded and dropped her gaze to the Lego figure they had been building, studying it curiously before her hand rested on her brother's thigh. "I is really glad that you's is my brother, 'Mas. I's the luckiest person in the world a'cause I get to look ups to you."

Sherlock snorted. "Yes I am. Do you remember the way I was when we first met? I am still that way sometimes." He sighed and shrugged. What had John even seen him before he had changed? Sometimes, he wasn't sure he even knew himself anymore. Jesus. Was he having a mid life crisis? On Christmas of all days? His eyes remained shut as he tried find a new path of thinking and still failing.

Thomas blushed and shrugged. He didn't really understand why Amy adored him so much, it wasn't like he was anything special. Just another kid in the world. He cleared his throat and shrugged again, not sure what to say right now.

"You were an annoying dick when we met," John said with a small, knowing smile. "But around me I just saw a different side and I fell in love with you. And, yes, sometimes you are still like that but it's who you are and I've accepted it. I love you for it." He turned and noticed his husband's eyes were shut before gently meeting the man's lips, coaxing his tongue into Sherlock's mouth.

Amy giggled at the blush, shifted and squirming in the boy's lap to turn and face him. "You's are," she said softly, a very John-like smile on her face. "You's is amazing and the bestest older brother that anybody could ask for. Stop blushing a'cause you looks like Dada when you does that and Papa doesn't blush and you's is like Papa."

Sherlock managed a faint smirk at what John said but he wasn't really feeling up to doing anything right now so he pulled away from his husband. "John...don't..." He finally opened his eyes, studying his husband for bit as he lifted his head off of John's shoulder. He didn't deserve a husband or a family, and yet here he was. Stop thinking. His mind wouldn't turn off. At one time, drugs would have solved that problem for him but he had closed that door awhile ago and he wasn't keen on opening again. Even if there was a part of him that still itched for the familiar escape.

At this rate, Thomas was certain his entire body was red. He continued to blush furiously at Amy's words. He cleared his throat again but still no words came out of his mouth.

Right. Apparently this was a little worse than John thought. "I am right here and I'm willing to listen to you talk, Sherlock. I understand that sometimes people want to just sit and not talk and let everything get worse but I don't want to see you go through that. Please tell me what's wrong. I'm worried about you." The look in his husband's eyes was scaring him, to be honest. The man in front of him was usually so happy around the family and Christmas was definitely a time of year to be happy. But now the man was pulling away from any sort of contact. "Is this about us not having sex enough anymore? About me? Something I have done?"

Amy pressed her face into Thomas' neck, wrapping her arms around him and smiling against his skin. "I loves you, 'Mas," she whispered as she moved to stand on her feet to continue the tight hug. "Everybody loves you a'cause you're the bestest brother and son anybody could asks for."

Sherlock blinked and shook his head. "What? No. It isn't you or anything you have done Love. I'm just...thinking too much is all..." He shrugged a bit. "I used to deal with my problems with drugs and sometimes I still want to. I won't. I could never do that to you and the children again." He shrugged again, not really sure how to explain anything else. Nothing was really wrong per se, he just needed to stop thinking was all.

Thomas continued to remain beet red but he returned the hug. He still wasn't sure what to say. Compliments always made him feel uncomfortable, mainly because he didn't feel like he deserved them.

It was a bit of a relief to hear that Sherlock wasn't going to turn to drugs. "I know I can't tell you to stop thinking, that would be ridiculous," John stated softly, lifting a hand to run it through his husband's hair. "But I can tell you that I'm here, all right? And if you want to talk then we can. I don't care if you don't make any sense, I'm just worried about you. I hate seeing you go through moments like this." It killed him inside, really. Watching Sherlock go through anything hurt him, too. "And if this is about the sex then I'm fine, sometimes I like to pleasure you just for the sake of pleasuring you."

Amy giggled again and turned to place a kiss on her brother's cheek. "You's is silly, 'Mas. Stop blushing!" She moved away from him and bounded over to his bed, climbing on to it as she set up her picture on his bedside table, grinning at him once it was up. "Why does you do that? You's deserves all the nice things to be saided about you."

Usually John made him better but now be was feeling frustrated with his husband. "It isn't sex related John. Fuck. Everything isn't always about shagging with me." He got up off the bed and began pacing the room in agitation, ignoring the headache coming on. Unless they were particularly bad, they didn't even register anymore. He we supposed to take yoga or some other nonsense thing but he just hadn't had time to fit it in.

Thomas shook his head slowly. He didn't feel like he deserved it. Eventually his cheeks went back to their normal color.

That made John jump a bit, looking at his husband with wide eyes. "Then what is this about, Sherlock?" He was standing now, eyes narrowed dangerously. "You can't just fucking mope around and then not tell me why. I'm trying to help, trying to figure out what's wrong and why you fucked me into the bathroom wall earlier and you weren't helping me out one bit."

Amy was about to open her mouth to talk to Thomas some more when she heard John shouting. Almost instantly she sank into her brother's lap with wide eyes, looking up at him. "Is they fighting?" She asked softly, thumb going straight into her mouth.

Once upon a time Sherlock would have yelled and thrown a tantrum. Instead he sighed in defeat and sat back down on the bed, head hanging low. "Just wanted some rough sex is all," he muttered. "Then I remembered where I got my first taste of it, when..." he cleared his throat before going on, "...I caught you with Sarah. I didn't want to say anything to you because I knew it would hurt you and I didn't want that, but here we are anyway..." He gave a small humorless laugh as he slowly looked back up to John.

Thomas frowned and hung onto Amy. Why were his parents fighting on Christmas? Well, Daddy didn't seem to be yelling so why was Dad? Best not to worry about it right now, he needed to comfort his sister.

Oh. John deflated on the spot, looking at his husband before dropping his head and biting his bottom lip. "I know you like rough sex," he mumbled as he rubbed at the back of his neck. This was better communication than anything that would have happened a few years ago. "And, you know, I know you are never going to forgive me for sleeping with Sarah. We have got constant proof of it, too." He finally moved to sit beside Sherlock, eyes locked on his own feet. "I'm sorry...I just...thought something was wrong."

Amy pressed closer to Thomas and sighed, holding him the best she could. "I is glad that you's is here a'cause then I'm not alone. You's is my bestest friend, 'Mas, and we gets to has each other for everything," she whispered around her thumb, a small smile on his face.

Sherlock shook his head. "I did forgive you John. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have trusted you and we wouldn't have gotten married. Did it make me insanely jealous for awhile, yeah...but I am over that too. If you hadn't slept with Sarah, we would never had an amazing daughter like Amy." He dropped his head again and closed his eyes. "In a way...I am glad you did..." That probably sounded stupid or didn't make any sense, but he loved little Sandi so much. He was certain his life would have been incomplete without her in it.

Thomas smiled, a small blush to his cheeks returning. "We will always have each other Sis, even when I get my own room we will still see each other a lot. I love you."

It all made sense, really, and all John could do was sit beside Sherlock and listen. "I remember finding out about her," he finally whispered, glancing at his husband with a small, soft smile. Afghanistan. A collapsed tunnel. "I noticed you were attached to her the moment you handed that sonogram picture down to me. You were so determined." With a bit of hesitancy he reached out and grabbed his husband's hand, biting his bottom lip.

Amy grinned around her thumb, looking up at Thomas and giggling. "How's is you gonna decorate your new room now? Can I's help? We could gives you Lego's posters and...and aeroplanes to hang from the ceiling! Does you likes aeroplanes?"

Sherlock relaxed and leaned into his husband's touch. He squeezed John's hand and rested his head on his husband's shoulder. "I love you John Watson." It had been a very long time since he had used his husband's name like that. He squeezed John's hand again, his head remaining comfortably on his husband's shoulder.

Thomas couldn't help but tense at the mention of aeroplanes and before he realized it, his head was shaking 'no' violently. "No..." His voice was a hoarse whisper. He hated them. He hated flying. He still had nightmares about the crash. His mother dying. Was he crying? He didn't like crying in front of Amy. He was supposed to be strong for his sister, not a baby like this. He sniffled and turned his head away, hoping she hadn't noticed.

Good. Fixed. At least a bit. John smiled at the use of his name and closed his eyes, letting his head fall to the side and gently rest on top of Sherlock's. "And I love you, Sherlock Holmes," he whispered with a small smile. "Happy Christmas, you wonderful git," he added as his smile turned into a grin.

Oh no. Amy looked around and then yanked her thumb from her mouth, wiping it across her pajama shirt before running her hands gently across her brother's cheeks. "'Mas, I's sorry," she whispered, not rushed or hurt, simply calm and understanding in a way only a three-year-old could do. "Sorry," she repeated as she pulled him into the tightest hug she could manage.

Good. Better. Much better indeed. "I am glad we were able to talk about this after all. I don't like fighting with you." Shit. Had the children heard them arguing just moments ago? They hadn't come downstairs still, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. "Christmas dinner at my Mum's. We should get ready soon," he reminded John gently. Probably the last one too. No. Don't think about that.

Thomas forced a small smile. "It is fine Sis. I just...I don't like aeroplanes at all..." It was more of a phobia really. He was never going to fly in one ever again. People died on them. He couldn't lose his family for a second time.

Christmas dinner. John smiled the best he could, suddenly reminded of how little time they had left with Nancy. "Yeah, I will get dressed and then go help the kids." He leaned to the side and placed a soft kiss on his husband's temple. "I love you," he repeated before finally standing up, going to the dresser. He put on a nice pair of black trousers and then a light blue button-up shirt. "Is she going to talk to us, you think? About...things." He turned to glance at Sherlock curiously.

"Okay. I's sorry. No aeroplanes," Amy corrected quickly, eyes wide as she studied her older brother. "We can makes them other things to hang from your ceiling. Maybe like...pictures of all of us. Like me and you and Papa and Dada." She put both of her hands on Thomas' cheeks and smiled a bit. "Yeah?"

Sherlock got up off the bed and began redressed into clean clothes. He dressed in his usual black and white attire. He turned to look at John with a slight frown. "I don't know. Maybe. She has been getting worse. I don't even know if she will be out of her room at all, even for Christmas." He looked his husband up and down with a smirk. "Why my Dear Watson, you look more adorable than usual." The smirk got bigger and he leaned in to give John a kiss on the lips, letting it linger a bit.

Thomas nodded, another faint smile on his lips. "Okay. That will be good." He continued to hold on to Amy, because the thought of aeroplanes had shaken him greatly and he needed some comfort right now. At least he wasn't crying anymore.

"Mmm." John smiled against his husband's lips, playfully sucking at the man's bottom lip before pulling away. "Maybe I will shag you tonight for that compliment," he whispered as he gave Sherlock another slow, lingering kiss. It had been quite a while since he had actually shagged his husband and the thought made him smile.

"Sorry," Amy said again, clearly shaken by having done something to make her brother cry. "I didn't mean to...sorry," she repeated with a small whimper. Hurting Thomas had been something she'd never done and now she was scared she'd do it again. "I-Is that how you's lost your Mummy?" She was infinitely curious now.

Sherlock smirked and returned the second kiss. "And maybe I will let you," he murmured against John's lips. Right. They didn't have time to start something right now. He pulled away slowly, not really wanting to. His mother was ill though, and he wouldn't want to upset her because they ended up being late. Dinner wasn't until the late afternoon, but gift exchanges were before that.

Thomas pulled away suddenly, tears streaming down his face all over again. "I don't want to talk about!" Had he just screamed at Amy? They almost never fought and certainly not like this. He sniffled and mortified by what he had done he scrambled to his feet and fled their bedroom, running down the stairs blindly not sure where he was going really.

John was about to reply when he heard Amy crying, practically screaming, and rushed footsteps come from the bedroom upstairs. Something had definitely happened. "Sherlock, go get Amy and make sure she is all right, I will go get Thomas." He opened the door in time to see their son darting into the living room. Without a second thought he moved forward and picked be boy up, carrying him to the living room and setting him on the couch. It was all comforting touches after that, a hand on Thomas' cheek and a soft whisper. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Amy just sat on the floor in the center of their room, practically screaming as she held the Lego figure they had been building in her hand. It was hard for her to understand what had just happened and Thomas yelling at her had really shaken her.

Sherlock frowned as he heard the commotion upstairs. Well, it appeared this was going to be a rough Christmas for all of them at this rate. He went up the stairs to the children's room. "Oh Baby Girl. Come here." Seeing her cry was never easy for him. He picked up little Sandi and held her gently to his chest. "Will you smile for me Sweetie? You are much too pretty to have tears in your eyes." He kissed her head and continued to comfort Amy as best as he could.

Thomas was crying so hard he hadn't even realized his Dad had picked him up and moved them to the couch. He sniffled and looked up to John with red eyes. "I...I...yelled at Amy..." Why had he done that? She didn't know. Didn't deserve it. He was a terrible brother. After all those nice things his sister had said. He hadn't deserved any of it. He leaned into his Dad heavily and continued to weep loudly, clearly contrite over the whole thing.

A simple little thing to adults but to kids, and especially Thomas, this was definitely something big. "All right, shhhh." John wrapped an arm around the boy and held him close. At nine years old, their son was so protective about his younger sister so this was a very big deal. "I am sure she will be just fine, Thomas. We all make mistakes sometimes," he added as he tried to calm the boy down. "Why did you yell at her?"

Amy pressed her wet face into Sherlock's chest with a loud wail, clutching desperately at his shirt as she squirmed in his arms. "'Mas yelleded at me," she said as she hiccuped a bit, lifting up her face to study Sherlock with red, puffy eyes. "I doesn't mean to upset h-him," she explained as a fresh wave of tears and sobbing overtook her.

Thomas had yelled at Amy? The thought made his blood boil. Sherlock couldn't let that upset him. He didn't want to be like his parents and clearly favor one child over another but damn it, it was hard sometimes. "I am sure he didn't mean to Baby Girl. People yell when they get upset and say things they didn't mean." He continued to hold little Sandi close to his chest.

Thomas had to take several deep, long breaths before he was finally able to answer his Dad's question. "I...I don't know..." More large gulps of air. "...I mean...I do...I just...I shouldn't have..." His lower lip quivered and he looked like he might be on the verge of tears all over again. "She mentioned aeroplanes...and my Mum...I just..." He couldn't help it and the tears fell all over again.

A very sensitive issue, then. John frowned and swallowed down his own rush of tears. He needed to stay strong right now for Thomas. "All right, shhh. Thomas, it is fine. Amy didn't know and that is a very uncomfortable topic for you, isn't it?" He moved a hand up and started running it through the boy's hair. "I'm right here for you." God, now he felt horrible.

Amy nodded a bit, pushing her thumb into her mouth as her wails started to turn into whimpers. Her wide eyes locked intently on Sherlock, her little chest heaving as she tried to calm down. "Please," she paused to pull her thumb from her mouth and catch her breath. "I asked hims about his Mummy a-and please doesn't be m-mad at him."

Oh. Well, that was a touchy subject for the boy. Sherlock couldn't be too mad at him, now could he? "I'm not Baby Girl. I am just here to help make you feel better. We are going to Grandma's soon, where you will get more presents and see Siger. Won't that be nice?"

Thomas sniffled and managed to stop crying. He wiped his nose with his sleeve, muttering an apology. He hated when he cried like this. He always felt so horrible afterward. And...he had yelled at Amy. That made him feel even worse. "I should go say sorry to Sis," he mumbled as he pulled away from his Dad, slid off the couch and made his way back up the stairs slowly. He peeked in and saw his Daddy comforting his sister. Their gaze met briefly before his Daddy put Amy down and left them alone in their room. "Sissy Poo, I am sorry for yelling at you. I wasn't mad at you...I just...got upset..." He moved toward her slowly, unsure if she would even let him hug her right now.

John watched Thomas run upstairs and all he could do was sit back against the couch with a sigh. The older the children got, the more difficult it was to figure everything out and make sure everything went smoothly. Sometimes he really hated it and others he was just grateful he remembered what to do from what happened between he and Harry growing up. He glanced up at his husband as he made his way down the stairs. "Well, Happy Christmas," he said with a tired sigh.

Amy watched Sherlock leave, clearly desperate for more of his contact, and then slowly studied Thomas. He was apologizing and moving toward her. Did she step back? Because what if he yelled again? Or did she just let him move forward? She shook her head, got rid of all of her thoughts, and rushed forward to hug her older brother with a small sniff. "I loves you, 'Mas," she said into his chest as she looked up at him. "And I is never gonna makes you yell at me again, okay?"

Sherlock sighed as well as he sat down next to John. "First we have a fight, then Thomas yelled at Amy." He shook his head. At this rate, it wouldn't surprise him if his mother died as well. Jesus. He shouldn't think like that. He leaned into his husband, head resting on John's shoulder. Wasn't Christmas supposed to be a happy time of year?

Thomas returned the hug. "I'm sorry Sis. I am so sorry." He repeated the words over and over again. He was the older brother. He was supposed to take care of Amy and protect her. Not yell her and then run away crying.

John wrapped an arm around his husband's shoulders, turning to place a kiss into the man's hair. "Just a typical day in the Watson-Holmes house, isn't it?" He whispered and a smiled against the top of Sherlock's head. "It happens. Not all of Christmas can be happy and cheery, you know?" Things just happened and they had to go along with it. "I am sure your mum will be happy to see us."

Amy nodded and looked up at him, smiling a bit as she shifted on her feet. "Now we has to gets ready for a party at Gramma's! C'mon!" She moved across the room and picked out her favorite party dress, pink with a black sash that ran across her stomach, and quickly changed into it.

Sherlock merely nodded, trying once more to stay out of his head for just two damned minutes. It had caused a fight earlier and he didn't want a repeat of that. The headache was still there and he closed his eyes, leaning into John further. "Yes. Hopefully I can avoid arguing with my brother, although I find that unlikely. He always has something snide to say."

Thomas watched Amy for a moment, wishing he could bounce back quickly like that. He got dressed, putting on his new purple shirt he had just gotten. It looked like Daddy's and he loved it. He finished dressing and put on his coat and new scarf as well. Even without his hair done up like he had for Halloween, he felt like he looked like Daddy still. Now if only he could be smart and confident like Daddy too.

"And then Lestrade will step in and probably be a little drunk when he does, yeah?" John giggled a bit and looked down at his husband, grinning from ear to ear. "Then I will have to kiss you to calm you down. While your mum will find it utterly endearing, the kids will find it absolutely disgusting so we will continue to do it anyway." He ran a hand through Sherlock's hair and chuckled. "A typical Christmas."

Amy pulled on her black leggings and then her little white shoes, looking up at her brother happily. "You looks very handsome, 'Mas. Jus' likes Papa." She nodded and grabbed his hand, easily leading him from the room and down the stairs into the living room. Of course their daddies were snuggling and grinning at each other.

"A typical family function." Sherlock hated going to the manor, but with his mother's health declining they frequented more often than they had in the past. He looked over to their children as they came into the living room and managed a small smile. "Who is ready to open more presents?" He stood up from the couch, helping John up with him.

Thomas blushed a bit at Amy's words and followed after his sister. The mention of more presents made him perk up. He had forgotten there were still more to open. "Yay!" He grinned and gently tugged at Amy's hand. "Let's race them downstairs!" He laughed and ran down the stairs with her, making sure not to run too fast.

John watched their kids with a grin, holding his husband's hand and giving it a slight squeeze. "Look at that. Mention presents and they are suddenly the happiest children on Earth. You're quite the wonderful father," he said with a smile toward Sherlock. He moved down the stairs with his husband, not even trying to race. He was far too old to run down the stairs like Thomas and Amy had.

Amy just giggled, looking up at her daddies before moving closer to Thomas. "We beats you!" She declared as she held her arms up and looked at Thomas expectantly. She knew that her older brother was tall and strong enough to carry her and she was going to take full advantage of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Sherlock smirked. "It is because I am amazing and perfect, I thought you knew this but apparently I need to remind you every now and then." He smirked again and gave John a quick kiss. He wasn't in a hurry either, so he matched his husband's pace down the stairs. "You did beat us Baby Girl. You are just too fast for Dada and me." He smiled at their children and opened the door to the black car that always seemed to be there.

Thomas picked up Amy and took her outside to the car. He strapped her in the seat before climbing in next to her and situating himself. He glanced up to his parents curiously when they got in. "How come Uncle Mycroft always sends us a black car? How come you guys don't drive? Why don't we take a taxi?" He had always wondered this and now seemed as good as any time to ask.

John made himself comfortable and glanced at their son. Always so bloody curious. It was wonderful because it meant he was paying attention to everything around him but sometimes it was difficult to answer all of his questions. "Because Uncle Mycroft doesn't want us to have to pay for taxis. And we don't drive because we just have never felt the need for it." There. Perfectly honest and rather good.

Amy just wiggled in her chair, clearly disliking that everybody else got to sit in a normal chair. "This chair is stupids," she mumbled as she pressed her feet into it and arched against the sea tbelt. Maybe if she pouted to Papa enough he would let her out.

Since John was answering the question from Thomas, Sherlock turned his attention to Amy. "Its to make sure you stay safe Baby Girl." Their daughter could seriously get hurt without it should there be an accident.

Thomas studied his Dad a bit before slowly nodding. "Does he do it because we are poor and he is rich?" He had heard his parents argue about money before, but not recently.

Well, that was definitely a question John wasn't ready for. "I can promise you that we aren't poor. We could get a car if we wanted." And then didn't want to eat for a month after that. They had a decent amount of money, though. "It's just that Uncle Mycroft is very nice and offers to help us." He hadn't really thought of it since he had married Sherlock.

Amy pouted again and shifted in her chair with a whine. "Papa, I doesn't likes it," she said as she arched into the seat belt again and whimpered. She didn't care that she was being difficult because she knew Papa wouldn't get upset with her. "Outs. I want outs."

Sherlock shook his head. "I'm sorry Baby Girl, but you have to stay in the seat until you are big enough." Little Sandi wouldn't like it, but he wouldn't sacrifice her safety, even if it meant her being upset.

Thomas knitted his eyebrows in thought. "If we aren't poor, how come you and Daddy argue over money sometimes?" He was naturally curious about everything, and sometimes he couldn't help but ask whatever was on his mind.

This was not the conversation John expected to be having Christmas. They would have a son who was far too curious for his own good. "Because sometimes Daddy and I have to talk about money. Somethings are expensive and we have to discuss how we will spend our money from both of our jobs." Hopefully that would answer all of the questions Thomas might have. Honestly, sometimes he didn't even know why he and Sherlock argued over money.

Amy let out a small shout, twisting roughly in her chair. It was clear that it was almost nap time because she was less keen to listening to people the more tired she got. "Outs. I hates this stupids chair. Outs!" She screamed the last bit and glared at Sherlock.

Sherlock sighed silently, and was thankful when the car stopped. He unstrapped little Sandi from the chair, picked her up and got out of the vehicle. Amy was definitely in need of a nap. Presents for the children would have to wait a bit longer.

Thomas nodded a bit and followed his Daddy out of the car. He always loved visiting the manor. Sometimes he wished he lived there. He ran ahead of his family, clearly excited to be there. He ran inside, running straight into the sitting room.

"Oi! I hear a Thomas!" Lestrade stood up from the couch and moved forward to meet the little boy, a grin on his face. "Hello there, future inspector! How are you?" He picked his nephew up, spinning him around before setting him down and ruffling his hair. "Is that a new shirt you've got there? It's very dashing, you look a lot like your Daddy."

John followed after Thomas, holding the door open for Sherlock and Amy before making his way into the sitting room himself and sitting down beside Mycroft, who was rocking Siger in his arms and attempting to get the little boy to fall asleep. Apparently it was nap time for all of the young children. He smirked up at his husband at the thought.

Amy whimpered and twisted in Sherlock's arms before pressing her face against her Papa's neck, clutching at his shirt as she made herself well known. She was starting to cry, letting out soft sobs as she did so. "Home. I wants to go home," she declared as she looked up at Sherlock with narrowed eyes.

Sherlock frowned. It had been awhile since little Sandi had been difficult like this. "If we go home, you will miss out on extra presents. You don't want to miss out on getting more fairies do you? Take a nap and you will feel better. If you nap for me, I will feed you with aeroplane." He hadn't needed to use that ploy in awhile and he hoped it would still work.

Thomas laughed and grinned. "Uncle Gregory!" He wrapped his arms around his favorite uncle, giving the older man a big hug.

Lestrade looked down at Thomas and grinned. "I haven't seen you since last week! You've grown a bit, haven't you? You'll be as tall as Sherlock in a few years, I would think," he said as he stood up to his full height and fished around his pocket. "And guess what I got for you?" He said as he pulled one of his old badges from his pocket. "Look at this, Thomas! A real-life badge just for you!"

Amy whimpered and studied her Papa with narrowed eyes before practically falling limp against his chest, clearly just giving up at getting her way. "Fine buts it betters be a good aeroplane," she mumbled as she let out a large breath and let her eyes move lazily around the room. "Jus' wanna nap," she said through a yawn.

Oh thank God. Sherlock wasn't sure how much more he could have taken. The headache from when he fought with John was still there and throbbing away. He sat down on the couch to get a little more comfortable. His mother's absence didn't go unnoticed, but he kept it to himself. No need to get Thomas worked up and worried.

"Wow Uncle Gregory! You are the best! I love you!" Thomas grinned and gave his uncle another big hug.

Amy yawned and curled into Sherlock with ease, looking up at him with wide eyes. She just studied him, thumb in her mouth, and then pressed her face against her Papa's stomach. Before long she fell asleep, sleeping happily in Sherlock's lap.

John watched them for a long moment, reaching over to gently run his fingers through their daughter's hair. It was going to be a rather long day for everybody and just being in the manor made him shift on the couch nervously. They were all aware of what was going on, aside from the children, and he hated it. "Are you doing all right?" It wasn't a secret that Sherlock was closer to Nancy than he had been Siger and John was very nervous about how everything was going to upset his husband.

Sherlock looked over at John, managing a faint smile. "I'm fine." This would be his last Christmas with his mother. Just don't think about it. His gaze shifted when his Mum finally made an appearance.

Nancy had spent a lot of time getting ready. It had worn her out but she was determined to at least spend a little time with the family. It pained her to walk but she refused to use a cane and a wheelchair was unthinkable. She smiled at her sons and moved over to her chair and sat down. It would probably take forever to get back up.

John was about to speak again when Nancy came into the room. He studied the woman with a soft smile before standing up himself. Talking next to Sherlock would definitely wake Amy up and they didn't need that in the slightest. So he moved across the sitting room and knelt down in front of her, gently taking her hand between both of his own. "Hello, Mum. How're you?" He asked softly.

Mycroft moved to sit next to his brother, Siger curled against him and sleeping just like Amy was against Sherlock. "You and I need to go over her will tonight," he said softly, his voice breaking and catching in his throat. It was too much. Before long it would just be them, no Mum to always help out or be there. He and Lestrade would have the manor to themselves and he suddenly realized how Mum felt when Dad died. He didn't want to live in the manor without Nancy there.

Sherlock tensed a bit but nodded. He didn't like that idea at all but he supposed it needed done. Why Mycroft thought Christmas was a good day to do it was beyond him. He looked over to their mother, she didn't look well. Pale. Obviously tired. Yet she had dressed up and looked nice anyway. Always the proper Holmes. He couldn't help but smile.

Nancy smiled at John. "I am fine Dear." Her voice was soft but worn. "How is your Christmas going? The children are excited, I bet."

For her last Christmas he didn't need to tell her that the entire family had practically exploded back at the flat so he simply smiled. "It is perfect now that we are here," he said softly, his thumb running across her knuckles as he shifted to be a bit closer to her. "They are very excited and I fear that after all of the presents at our flat that Sherlock and I will stepping all over them for weeks."

Mycroft dropped his gaze to Siger as the boy shifted and pressed his foot against Amy's back in his sleep. The little girl twisted a bit in Sherlock's lap, her face scrunched before she moved away from it. It made Mycroft smile a bit as his shoulder bumped against his younger brother's.

Sherlock shifted slightly so Amy would have more room. The last thing he wanted right now was little Sandi waking up right after falling asleep for a nap. She had clearly needed one and he wanted her to nap as long as possible.

Nancy couldn't help but laugh. She regretted it as soon as she started coughing but at least it didn't last long. "They deserve them. You and Sherlock have raised some fine children Dear. I am sure Siger would be just as proud as I am of all you boys."

John smiled a bit and continued to hold her hand and nodded. This was far harder than he thought it would be and he wanted to cry. It was taking all of his self control to stay calm and not make a fool of himself in front of the entire family. "Sherlock and I, we got you a present. Granted, he has no idea about it because he has been working a lot of cases but I put his name on it."

Mycroft looked up at his brother and smiled a bit. "Apparently our children are practically twins," he joked softly as Siger shifted slightly in his arms and let out a small whimper. The boy had grown into himself a bit in the past few months. His hair was coming in a darker red and freckles were starting to appear across his face. "Sleeping at the same time and all."

Sherlock gave a small snort and then shifted a bit on the couch so he could get a little more comfortable with little Sandi in his arms. As Amy got bigger it became a bit more difficult to hold her at times. Hopefully this Christmas would go smoother here on out, it had gotten off to a rather rocky start for everyone.

Nancy gave another short laugh, that resulted in some more coughing. "There was no need for that Dear." She probably wouldn't be around much longer to enjoy it anyway. Best to keep that to herself though.

John shook his head and patted Nancy's hand. "Oh, but there was. You are our mum, of course we had to get you something." He reached a hand up and rest it gently on her cheek, smiling warmly. "You look lovely tonight, Nancy. Very beautiful."

Amy shifted again in Sherlock's lap and then slowly opened her eyes, a small whimper escaping her lips. For a moment she just laid there before looking up up at Sherlock. It was clear she was still half asleep. "Where is we, Papa?" She mumbled before pressing her face into his stomach and yawning.

Sherlock smiled at little Sandi. "We are at Grandma's Baby Girl. So you and Thomas can open more presents." Not that the children really needed any more toys, but his mother loved to spoil them. Hell, he and John did too. They had gone a little crazy this Christmas but that was all right.

Nancy smiled. "Thank you Dear. It wore me out a bit, but I made it down to see the family," she admitted quietly. "Mycroft insists the will be gone over today. On Christmas of all days for goodness sakes." She shook her head with a small sigh.

"I'll talk to him," John said softly as he tried to keep himself calm. The last thing they needed to be talking about was Nancy's will on Christmas. "We'll figure it all out, I think we have got a while." Or at least he hoped they did. Part of him had a feeling that they wouldn't have Nancy by the time the new year rolled around.

Amy grumbled something and then looked up at Sherlock, eyes narrowed slightly before she shifted in his lap again. She was having trouble getting comfortable. Papa wasn't just as big as he used to be and his lap was barely big enough for her. "'S loud," she mumbled before pressing herself closer to him.

Sherlock frowned and stood up slowly. "Well then Baby Girl, let us get you somewhere a little more quiet." He carried her to his father's old den and closed the door behind him. He slumped into the large, old leather chair. "Is that better?" Frankly, he liked the silence himself.

"It is fine Dear. No need to make a fuss or a commotion over little old me. I have everything arranged already, so there won't be a lot to go over." Nancy gave John another smile. She was worried if her son-in-law said something, it might start a fight with Mycroft and she was tired of all her sons squabbling. Maybe it was just old age, but she hated hearing them fight. Especially over her.

All John wanted to do was make a commotion over her, to keep Nancy here with them instead of losing her. It was literally killing him and he hated all of this. Christmas was supposed to be a happy time but they were well one their way to losing the anchor of their entire family. "We'll figure it out without fighting, Nancy. I promise." He shifted a bit on his feet before standing up completely. "Here," he mumbled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out two pictures. "It's Amy and Thomas, we managed to get these," he said as he handed them over with a smile. "So you'll have them with you..." The rest of the sentence went unspoken.

Amy shifted in Sherlock's lap and yawned, searching for the most comfortable position. She settled on sitting in Sherlock's laps, legs spread and wrapped around his slim hips, with her head on his chest. She was quiet for a very long moment before speaking, not lifting her head to even speak. "Is Grandma sicks?"

Sherlock frowned at the question but nodded slowly. "Yes, she is." No point in lying at this point. He probably wasn't lucky enough for little Sandi to fall back asleep. Knowing Amy she would just keep asking questions. What was it about their children that made them so curious about everything? He supposed it was good really, but damn...

Nancy smiled warmly as she looked at the pictures. "I love it John. Thank you." A pause as she lifted her head and met her son-in-law's eyes. "Will...will you make sure I get buried with these? Maybe even a picture of my boys too. I know it probably doesn't make sense...just...please?"

John was quiet for long moment, head dropped as he took several deep breaths. "Yes. Of course. We've all talked and there's a picture of Siger as well as one with Sherlock and Mycroft that are set aside for it." Near the end of the sentence his voice broke and a few tears ran down his cheeks. How was it that Sherlock and Mycroft could sit back and not cry? He had not even know the woman for more than five years, at least, and he was breaking down.

"Oh," Amy said with a yawn as both of her hands wrapped into his suit jacket. She was quiet after that, taking it all in before she lifted her head and finally looked up at him. "Well, I wills be here for you, Papa. I doesn't want anything bads to happen to you."

Well, that could have gone worse he supposed. Sherlock smiled down at little Sandi and kissed the top of her head. "I know Baby Girl. Thank you." He pulled Amy a little closer to his chest in a hug. Mostly because he needed it. He didn't talk about his slowly dying mother. It would just upset John so he had just kept it to himself.

Nancy managed a small smile. "There there Dear. Come here. Everything will be fine. I'm ready, you know?" She wrapped her arms around John. "No tears on Christmas. This is supposed to be a happy time of year, not a sad one."

John didn't hesitate and pressed his face into her shoulder, trying to keep himself under control. He had hardly had parents growing up and now that he'd had one in Nancy he wanted to just hold her, keep her and never lose her. This wasn't supposed to happen. "'M sorry. Sorry..." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath that shook his entire body. "I'm going to miss you so much."

Amy smiled at the hug, returning it the best she could. It wasn't hard for her to tell when something was wrong with Papa, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. "And maybes...you and Dada should talk a'cause talking always helps. He does the cries at night, too."

Sherlock managed the faintest of smiles into little Sandi's head. How was Amy so amazing? Perceptive at such a young age? Had John been crying when he hadn't been home during cases? It hadn't been when he had been home. He would definitely talk to his husband then. "All right Baby Girl I will."

"You are fine Dear. No shame in crying. No matter what the Holmes men think." Nancy smiled as she released John from the hug. "Just make sure you take care of my Baby Boy. I'm sure he has been acting fine, but he is going to need you. You hear me?"

John nodded and lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes, furiously trying to get rid of any of the tears. "Of course. I will take care of Sherlock and love him like he deserves. Anything to keep him happy I'm willing to do." He smiled, weak but still there, and finally relaxed a bit. "I don't know what happens when we leave but...if you can...just watch over all of us?"

Amy nodded, short and barely there, and was clearly happy to hear her Papa to agree to that. "And if anythings happens then you has to cry too, okay? A'cause crying helps. Always." The half-embrace tightened just a bit and she smiled. "Always."

The small smile grew marginally. "Okay Baby Girl." He kissed the top of little Sandi's head again. How had he gotten so lucky to have such an amazing daughter? He continued to hold Amy in the hug.

Nancy smiled up at John. "Of course I will." She didn't know what came after death, if anything, but she wanted to believe she would be with Siger again in a nicer place. It was easier to deal with dying to think like that. She was determined not to let dying scare her. At least not in front of the family.

John grinned and then looked around the living room. Mycroft and Greg were both asleep on the couch, leaning against each other with Siger sharing their laps. Sherlock was long gone, more than likely with Amy, and he had no idea where their son was. "Would you like anything, Nancy? Cuppa? Coffee? Something to eat?" He tilted his head to the side curiously.

Amy giggled after that, holding Sherlock a while longer before she yawned. "I loves you, Papa. I always will," she whispered as she let her eyes slip shut and slowly started to fall asleep. "I loves all my family lots."

There. Asleep again at last. Sherlock decided to just stay in the den. He held her close to his chest. He wasn't tired so he didn't need to sleep but the solitude was nice. Having a family didn't really grant him that often, except every once in awhile at the office.

"I am fine Dear." Nancy shook her head a bit. She hadn't been eating or drinking anything the last couple of days. Much to the chagrin of Mycroft and Gregory. "I had hoped to see the children open their presents, but I don't think I am going to make it. I am going to retire to my room for the night. Help an old woman to her room?"

Oh. John shifted a bit on his feet and looked around. Now he felt horrible. Nancy's last Christmas and she wouldn't be able to watch the kids open their presents. "How about we have them bring your presents up to your room and open them there?" He said as he slowly helped her stand up, an arm wrapped around her shoulder protectively. Despite the fact that she was a little taller than him he managed to help her. "Would that work?"

These days, Nancy preferred to be alone in her room. There she could be in peace and not worry about being strong for anyone. "No, it is fine. The children need their sleep. So do I for the matter. Thank you for the thought though Dear." She followed John, leaning into him a bit for support.

Right, so that was out of the question. That meant that, more than likely, this was the last time he would be seeing her. He was determined to watch the kids and make Sherlock come and visit her at some point. "Do you want me to send Sherlock up here once you're settled in?" He asked softly, keeping himself as steady as possible as he felt his mother-in-law lean against him. "I think you should...he has been throwing himself in cases rather hard. I think you two should see each other and talk before we leave."

Nancy was feeling rather tired but maybe John was right. "Yes, I suppose for a bit. Not too long though. Getting ready and coming down the stairs was rather draining on me today." She didn't want make her son-in-law worry, but she had a feeling that she wouldn't wake up after falling asleep this time.

John helped Nancy into the bedroom with ease, leading her to her massive bed before smiling a bit. "I had Mycroft plan ahead," he said with a small smile as he moved toward the corner of the room and picked up a bag. "Happy Christmas, Mum. This is from all of us." And with ease he started pulling out picture frames, setting them on Nancy's beside table. One was of all of them without their grandchildren, clearly taken the day after he and Sherlock's wedding. The next was Mycroft, Lestrade and Siger followed by one of John, Sherlock, Amy and Thomas. "And the best for last," he whispered as he set a picture frame down with a picture of she and Siger on their wedding day. "We wanted you to feel loved."

Nancy climbed into bed with a small groan and a creak of her tired, old joints. She smiled at the pictures. "They are wonderful John. Thank you Dear." She studied the picture of her and Siger. She still missed him. The holidays were always hardest on her even with the family around. Soon. She would see him soon, wouldn't she?

John stood next to the bed for a long moment before deciding to take a few steps back. "I'll go and get Sherlock," he said softly, a bit of a smile on his lips. "Nancy, I love you. Thank you for everything that you have ever done." He paused and nodded. "And I'm happy that you'll soon be with your husband." After a short nod he turned on his heels and made his way downstairs, toward the den. Knowing Amy would still be asleep he gently opened the door and glanced at his husband. "Uh...your mum, Sherlock..." He bit his bottom lip and dropped his head. "You should go and talk to her. I don't think..." He shook his head and let out a sigh.

Sherlock glanced up at John. Not surprising. His mother hadn't looked well at all when she had come down to the sitting room. He stood up carefully and passed of their daughter to his husband. "Right. I will be down a bit later then." He gave John a quick kiss on the cheek, left the room and went upstairs. He sat with his mother awhile, talking about everything other than the inevitable. Per her request, he didn't go get anyone else. He was holding her hand when her eyes closed for the last time. He sat there several minutes afterward, staring but not crying. He had promised he wouldn't say anything to anyone. Let them think she passed away in her sleep at night. Don't ruin Christmas. He composed himself and left the room in silence.


	4. Chapter 4

John held Amy while she slept, sitting in the massive chair that had once belonged to Siger and just staring at her. Their little girl, so grown up already and looking more beautiful to him every day. In a house where he knew that one life would be lost soon, he couldn't help but marvel at the fact that there were three children running around to help carry on the Holmes legacy, despite the fact that none of them were really Holmes' to begin with. Once Amy started to toss and turn, officially waking up, he moved into the living room, setting her on the floor as she and Siger separated all of the gifts into piles for everybody. He kept the spot next to him open for his husband.

The last thing Sherlock wanted to do was be around anyone right now, but he had to. It would be noticed and someone might find out about his mother dying. He wasn't going to break the promise. Just suck it up. Plenty of time to cry about it later. He forced himself forward from the door he hadn't realized he was slumped against. He was feeling pretty numb and it was hard to focus. The children were awake, he could hear them downstairs. Thomas would notice if something was amiss. Sometimes that boy was too smart for his own good. He had a small, but forced smile on his lips as he entered the room with the family. He sat down on the couch next to John and to distract himself, he watched the children make piles with the presents.

The present opening went better than John thought it would be but the entire time it was hard to miss how vacant and quiet his husband was. By the time all of the presents were open Mycroft and Greg took Siger up for his second nap - the child was a right terror - and Amy was helping her brother pack up all of their new toys and clothes. Tonight the kids would sleep easily and he had a feeling that he and his husband would lay in bed and hold each other. "I love you," he whispered softly as he reached out and took his husband's hand.

Luckily no one asked him about Mum. Sherlock wasn't sure he would have been a convincing liar, even though it came easily to him usually. He had been watching the presents be opened but he wasn't actually paying any real attention. His husband's whisper brought him back to reality, a shadow of a smile finding its ways to his lips. "I love you too."

For most people reading Sherlock was impossible. For John it was a bit easier. All he knew was that something was wrong. They were both struggling, though, so he didn't think that much was out of the ordinary. They could talk once they got back to the flat. He was about to open his mouth when Amy crawled into his lap with a yawn.

"The new toys is put aways so can we's go homes?" Amy looked up at both of them expectantly, yawning as she curled against him. "Wants to go."

There was supposed to be a Christmas dinner but with Mum gone, did it even matter anymore? If he said yes, would it raise suspicion? Probably. Mycroft wanted to talk too. He didn't feel like doing anything the rest of the day. Just press on. "Not yet. We still need to eat dinner and Uncle Mycroft wants to talk to me. Soon though Baby Girl."

John studied his husband silently for a few moments while Lestrade and Mycroft moved into the dining room to finish setting dinner up. The overall feeling of the manor was a bit tense, especially for Christmas. He shifted and moved to put his head on his husband's shoulder, one hand moving to gently massage the muscles of Sherlock's neck.

Amy yawned and nodded, shifting a bit so she was spread out across John and Sherlock's laps. "Gonna nap, thens," she whispered as she kept her eyes locked intently on her Papa. "But you twos can talk a'cause it's important for daddies to talk 'bouts things."

Sherlock managed a small smile at their daughter as she took another nap. He leaned into his husband, eyes closing. He wasn't sleeping, merely trying to relax as best he could with the weight of knowledge pressing down on him. Secrets had always been easy before but this was proving to be a bit more difficult than he expected.

Despite the blessing of their daughter John kept his mouth shut, realizing instantly that Sherlock wasn't too keen to talk about anything. If his husband wanted to stay quiet then he would let him. Pushing Sherlock to do anything never ended well. "Shhh," he whispered against the man's shoulder, continuing to massage his neck. It would hopefully help Sherlock relax a bit. Once they had dinner they could leave. Whatever it was Mycroft needed to talk about could wait.

Sherlock remained pressed against John, and he was able to relax a bit from the massaging fingers. He wasn't sure he would be able to enjoy another Christmas after this one. If their daughter wasn't laying on both their laps he would have gotten up and gone somewhere to be alone. Usually being close to John like this made him feel better but right now he was just feeling worse.

The silence was unnerving and John did his best to not bring anything up. The call for dinner made him look at his husband for a long moment. "I'll let you come over in your own time," he whispered before placing a soft kiss on Sherlock's cheek. He stood and held Amy against him, smiling as she woke up and looked toward the dining room with a yawn. "I'll save you a spot," he added over his shoulder before making his way toward the dining room.

Sherlock gave a slight nod as he watched John walk away. He wasn't hungry by any means. Luckily, since he rarely ate to begin with, nothing would be amiss if he didn't tonight. He didn't want to go to dinner at all but he forced himself up off the couch. He went to the dining room and took a seat next to his husband.

The dinner was simple. Chicken and rice with some steamed vegetables on the side. It wasn't until he had cut up Amy's meal for her to easily eat it and prepared a plate for himself that he realized Thomas was not at the table. "Dammit," he whispered as he stood up. Everybody else had already started eat, Siger digging in eagerly as he sat between his parents. Amy wiggled in her chair next to John's empty one before starting to eat herself. "Thomas?" John left the dining room in search of their son.

"Papa?" Amy looked over at Sherlock, piece of chicken between her fingers half-way to her mouth. "Could you does aeroplane? I likes aeroplane," she whispered with a small smile.

Sherlock managed a genuine smile at little Sandi. In his distress he had forgotten he had promised Amy he would aeroplane the food to her. "Sure Baby Girl." It would be a good distraction. He picked up a fork, picked up some chicken with it and the 'vroomed' it towards his daughter, making zig zags in the air with it.

Thomas was playing with his new toys in the living room, where it was a little quieter. He heard the call for dinner, but he was putting together some Lego's and he wanted to finish it. "Dad?" He looked up from his project when he heard John call for him. "I'm in here Dad!"

John smiled a bit as he moved into the living room, studying all of the Lego pieces that their son had put together. "Look at that," he said as she crouched down next to Thomas and ruffled his hair. "Quite the little architect you are, Thomas. Very nice." He grinned at the boy before motioning his head toward the dining room. "Dinner's ready, mate, you can keep putting these together when we get back home, yeah?"

Amy giggled and opened her mouth, wiggling her feet happily as she closed her mouth around the fork and ate the food happily. Her face was bright and she was nothing but all smiles as she studied her Papa. "I loves when you feed me," she said with a grin as she swallowed her first bite.

"I know you do Baby Girl." Sherlock smiled even bigger. Leave it to little Sandi to be the one to be able to cheer him up. He got another forkful of food for Amy and aeroplaned it to her again. "Is that good?"

"But...I wanted to finish this now." Thomas knew he wasn't supposed to argue with an adult, especially not one of his parents but maybe he wouldn't get in trouble this time. Amy never got in trouble for anything it seemed.

John licked his lips, glanced between Thomas and the Lego figure, nodded and slowly sat down next to his son. "All right," he said softly with a nod. A small, lop-sided smile made its way to his mouth and he shifted slightly on the floor. "How 'bout I sit here with you and help you put it together? Can we do that?" He figured it was best to spend time with the kids now before any bad news came their way.

Amy nodded her head vigorously before taking her food into her mouth and chewing it slowly. Her eyes brightly studied her Papa, so much like John, before she tilted her head to the side and smiled a bit. "I thinks you needs a hug," she said softly so nobody else could hear, looking up at Sherlock curiously. "Does you wants a hug?"

"I can always use a hug from you Baby Girl." Sherlock put down the fork and picked up little Sandi. He held her close to his chest for awhile and then kissed the top of Amy's head. "You are my favorite little girl."

For a moment Thomas thought he might be in trouble but when he realized he wasn't he nodded slowly. "Okay Dad." Instead of studying the Lego's diagram, he studied John. "Is something wrong with Grandma? She never visits anymore. I miss her. Did...I do something wrong? Does she still love me Dad?"

Oh God. John looked down at his son and smiled, soft and warm. "Of course she still loves you, Thomas. You haven't done anything wrong," he said as he wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder and pulled him closer. "Sometimes people get older and have trouble moving. Grandma is just getting a little older and can't come and visit us very much anymore." That had to be the nicest way of saying she was nearly dying he had ever come up with.

Amy smiled and pressed her face against Sherlock's chest, holding him as tight as she could manage. "And you's is my favorite Papa," she replied calmly, just letting her Papa hold her. She knew that he needed this and she was more than willing to sit still and forgo eating if it meant making him happy.

Sherlock smiled and held onto little Sandi for a bit before finally letting her go. "Come on Baby Girl. Eat for Papa, so you can grow up to be big and strong like Thomas." He picked up the fork again and aeroplaned some more food to Amy.

Thomas nodded slowly. "Is it because she is old? People get old and die, right? Is Grandma..." A brief hesitation, "...is Grandma dying Dad?" That was scary for him to think about. He didn't care about the Lego's anymore. His attention was on John fully.

Dammit. Their son was far too bright for his age. John pulled Thomas close and smiled at him, his free hand running through the boy's hair. "People get old and pass away, Thomas and Grandma might pass away sometime," he explained quietly. This was more difficult than he thought it would be.

Amy happily accepted the food, chewing the chicken before resting her head on her Papa's chest. The day had definitely worn her out and her eating was slowing down. She was more keen to just rest on Sherlock's chest and not move. Growing up big and strong like Thomas was less interesting than sleep.

Sherlock shifted a bit so little Sandi could be more comfortable. Amy had been napping quite a bit today, but then again there was always a lot of activity going on at Christmas. He left the dining room and went back to the den, so she could sleep with less noise. He slumped down into the big leather chair, running one hand along his daughter's back lightly.

Thomas' lower lip quivered at the thought of his Grandma dying but he didn't want to cry. He nodded, sniffled and stared down at his Lego's. They didn't seem interesting at all now and he certainly wasn't hungry. "Can we go home now?"

John closed his eyes for a long moment and then held Thomas closer. "It's all right to cry," he whispered as he lifted the boy into his lap. It was a shock to him that he could still do it considering the fact that Thomas was nine now. He gently started rocking from side to side to help calm their son down. "We can in a bit, Amy and Daddy are eating and we want Amy to grow up big and strong so she needs to finish dinner. We can sit here and I'll hold you."

Amy shifted a bit, yawned and ended it with a squeak, and then relaxed against her Papa. She was quiet but she didn't close her eyes and instead slowly put her thumb in her mouth with a sigh. It was nice to not be around people and simply enjoy the silence. "Sorry I didn't eat," she whispered around her thumb as her free hand clutched at Sherlock's shirt.

Sherlock smiled down at little Sandi. "It is fine Baby Girl. It just means you will have room for tea and cookies when we get home. How does that sound? Santa didn't eat all of them last night. I think he knew a certain pretty little girl would be getting some."

Thomas didn't want to wait to go home but he nodded anyway. "I don't like crying." Daddy never did. Why should he? He wanted to be exactly like Sherlock and if that meant no crying then he was okay with that.

"I know that, Thomas, but sometimes it's better to cry than keep it all in." John paused and placed a kiss into their son's hair as he continued to rock the boy in an attempt to keep him as calm as possible. "Even your Daddy cries sometimes to me. That means it is definitely all right," he added as his hand moved to rub up and down Thomas' back.

Amy nodded a bit, eyes wide as she looked up at Sherlock and smiled around the thumb in her mouth. "Likes cookies," she stated with a small hiccup. "And likes tea, too. I gots some tea for Christsmas, too, and I can has some of that." The excitement in her voice was hard to hide.

Sherlock smiled again. "I know you do Baby Girl. Are you ready to go? So you can have tea and cookies before you go to bed for the night?" He would need to find John and Thomas first. Would they be in the dining room or elsewhere in the manor by this point in time?

"I still don't like it," Thomas muttered. He held onto his Dad awhile longer and then finally let John go. He was ready to go still. Maybe Daddy and Amy were done with dinner. He would just finish his Lego's set later. Perhaps his sister would help him with it. She had seemed to like it last time.

"Here," John said as he moved to help clean up all of the Lego's and held the several boxes in one hand as he offered the other to Thomas. "How 'bout we go find Daddy and Amy and go back home?" He said, leaving the room with ease and knowing instantly to try the den when he saw that Sherlock and Amy weren't in the dining room. He opened the door slowly and smiled at them. "We have got one very tired little chap ready to go home."

Amy turned a bit to see her Dada and older brother walk in the room, smiling just a bit around her thumb before looking up at Sherlock. Clearly she was ready to go and more tired than she wanted to let on. If she stayed awake then she got teas and cookies and that was a rather good incentive.

Well that was rather convenient. Sherlock smiled at John and Thomas. "Well, looks like we are all set to go home then." He carried little Sandi out of the den and made sure his husband and son followed. Considering how quiet the manor was, no one knew about Mum. It was what she had wanted. He pushed his thoughts aside as he put Amy in her seat and slid into the black car with a small sigh he hoped no one had noticed.

Thomas followed his family out to the car in silence and climbed in. He wasn't tired really. Not right now. There was too much to think about.

John situated himself next to his husband and looked at him, catching the sigh but decided to not say anything. They would talk that night in bed because it definitely seemed like they needed to. Instead he simply grabbed Sherlock's hand and gave it a small squeeze. "I love you," he whispered as the car made its way to the flat. He wanted to comfort his partner but right now he had no idea what to do and it was driving him crazy.

Amy shifted in her seat and hiccuped just a bit around her thumb, studying her daddies before looking over at Thomas. "I loves you all," she finally said to break the silence, smiling brightly at her family.

Sherlock managed a faint smile at John as he returned his husband's squeeze. The smile twitched a bit bigger as he heard little Sandi speak. "I love you too Baby Girl." Really, Amy was the one who had managed to keep him sane at the manor or at the very least distract him from his thoughts for a bit.

Thomas blinked and matched the small smile of his Daddy. "Love you Sis." He fell quiet again, gaze on his lap as he let himself get wrapped up in his thoughts.

John let out a soft sigh as the car came to a stop, shifting instantly from husband-mode to parent-mode. "Righto kids, up to bed we go. Bed time," he said as he took a deep breath and easily picked up Thomas. For nine the boy was a bit slim, taking after Sherlock despite the fact that he wasn't their biological child, and it wasn't difficult for John to carry him. He entered the flat and took the boy upstairs to their shared room, setting out some pajamas after setting Thomas down on his bed. "You all right, mate?"

Amy shifted in her chair and grinned at Sherlock, studying his smile and relaxing a bit at the sight of it. Sherlock smiling was something that she rather enjoyed. "Good. I likes you loving me."

Sherlock watched John take Thomas and he smiled again at little Sandi. "When Dada goes to bed I will sneak you some tea and cookies, okay Baby Girl? But ssshhh, it'll be our secret all right?" He took her out the car seat and took Amy up the stairs slowly. He wasn't in any hurry. He leaned down and gave his daughter an Eskimo kiss.

Thomas looked up at his Dad and gave a slight nod. "Just thinking. I do that a lot," he muttered the last part with a small shrug.

"You sound an awful lot like your Daddy," John said softly, crouching down to run his hand through Thomas' hair with a soft smile. He glanced at Sherlock and Amy as they came into the room but quickly turned his attention back to their son. "Would you like something to help you go to sleep tonight, Thomas? So you can stop thinking?" It was the least he could do considering what the boy was thinking about it.

Amy giggled and returned the Eskimo kiss happily. "Okay, shhh," she repeated as she was set on her bed. With that promise in mind it looked like she was keen to try and keep herself awake to spend a little time with Papa past her bedtime. She easily changed into her pajamas - a new pair from her Grandma - and grinned when she realized they covered her feet and, to top it off, were covered in puppies.

Sherlock smiled, kissed little Sandi's forehead and pull the covers her. Now, he just wanted to be alone for a bit. Which seemed doable since John was focusing attention on Thomas. He said good night to his family, went downstairs, picked up the violin his husband had gotten him for Christmas and experimentally tried out the strings before starting a low but soft tune of mourning. Playing his feelings out sometimes worked a lot better than talking about it.

Thomas shook his head. "No thank you, I am fine." He could hear the faint sound of the violin from downstairs. Was something wrong? "I think Daddy needs you more than I do right now." He changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed.

John smiled at Thomas and moved to place a soft kiss on the boy's forehead, turning around and doing the same for Amy before leaving the room and quietly shutting their door. The music was soft and hurt him to just listen to. Probably about Sherlock's mum who probably wouldn't make it much longer, he figured a few days after the new year. He moved and made the calculated decision to sit in his chair and simply study his husband, letting him do whatever he needed before he decided to head to bed.

Sherlock was looking out the window as he played, like he often did, but he knew John was in the room with him the moment his husband entered. He was thankful John didn't say anything. His husband was seriously perfect sometimes. Should he stop and tell John what had happened? Or just wait for the news and act surprised like everyone else? Would his husband figure it out? He had lost himself in thought again and hadn't realized he had stopped playing.

For a while John just let the silence drag on between them, looking at Sherlock and dropping his head with a sigh. "God help me if I'm wrong then you can kick me out of the flat for a week but..." He paused and looked up at his husband, holding back tears. "Nancy died, didn't she?" His voice cracked but he couldn't help it. Sherlock's demeanor had changed the moment he came downstairs at the manor.

Fuck. When had John become so perceptive? Sherlock merely nodded, still staring out the window and blankly watching the mostly empty snow covered streets of London. The violin was still in place as well, his head tilted slightly to one side to hold it in place. "She didn't want anyone to know. She wanted them to think she passed away in her sleep. She made me promise not to tell. I sat with her and held her hand." He sighed and finally began playing once more.

Right. So not only had Sherlock lost his mother but she'd passed in front of him while he held her hand. John dropped his head as the music started playing again. It was like a flash back to when he first moved int, really. Sherlock just playing, he sitting and listening. What did he do? Approaching him didn't seem like the best idea, really. Interrupting his music would probably upset him, so he sat patiently. When his husband was done he would take the man to bed and simply hold him and let him do whatever he needed.

So, Christmas hadn't been the holly jolly tale those ridiculous movies made it out to be. At least not this year. Next year would be better, wouldn't it? It had to be. Sherlock played for an indeterminable amount of time. Playing until his fingers became sore by the same, constant motion. He blinked away unshed tears, cleared his throat and finally put his instrument down. So much for tea and cookies for Amy. Tomorrow then. There was no way little Sandi would be awake now. He turned, took John's hand and led them to their bedroom. He curled in tightly against his husband, knowing sleep would certainly not find him tonight and probably not for awhile. Christmas was over now and he could only hope that the next one would be better.


End file.
